Confession: My Personal Love Affair

February is the month for love and I am bearing my soul…..

Dear Love of My Life,

I was very young when I first experienced your magnetism. You were calming, cool to the touch and the color of wheat. I felt so mature having you at such a young age.

From that first moment of pleasure, your essence has flowed through my veins and settled in my heart. My heart aches for you when my lips do not feel your touch and warmth, first thing in the morning.

Your scent stirs every wonderful desire and happy emotion in my body.

Your warmth tingles every part of my body from my lips to the pit of my stomach.

For years I’ve tasted your deliciousness, BUT recently, Starbucks took you to a “whole nutha level” with their Flat White made with steamed soy milk.

Starbucks Flat White

Coffee I Love You

Dear Coffee I love you


Tajirah aka Bahiyyah

A Simple Technique For Single Women To Meet Men

I just recently had an “aha” moment. I found a very simple, easy way for women to meet men.

*Disclaimer: I am happily married and am not looking to meet anyone of the opposite sex.

I can almost guarantee this will work IF my single friends or other single women will try it. It is just so simple.  The great thing about this technique is it involves something that single women are probably already doing.

All my single ladies…All my single ladies…

This is so exciting…..

Here it is……

First you have to run out of a necessity such as toilet paper, toothpaste, dish soap or a necessary item that you just cannot make it through the day without. You have to realize you don’t have it at the last minute, like right before you have to use it. It has to be at an inconvenient time when you have to run out of the house totally focused on the item and not your appearance.

Example: The other day during my natural hair wash day, I remembered after twisting my hair  in about 10 fat, large Whoopi Goldberg, Color Purple twists so my hair could dry,  that I was out of vitamins (my necessity, because I am old). I realized the Health Food Store would be closing in 20 minutes. I have too much dignity and home training to leave the house in the pajamas I had on. So, I threw on whatever was convenient along with the baseball cap to cover my puffy twists. I was focused on the vitamins needed for my morning schedule and catching the store before it closed. After finding a close parking space, I opened the door, stepped out of my car and realized my pajamas actually would have looked better than what I had on.


Black and white print leggings (very loud print), a workout t-shirt that did not cover my jiggly butt and flip-flops with ashy feet. Luckily, my sunglasses were in the car. I quickly put them on thinking I can hide my whole body behind them. Once my sunglasses were on, I suddenly had the confidence to walk, I mean strut into the store like I had dressed to meet the president and the Mrs.

Once in the store, I could not find my vitamins. I walk up and down the aisles definitely not wanting to ask for help because I don’t remember if I had brushed my teeth or not. So Mr. Concerned About His Health Looking Like A Personal Trainer offered to assist me. I mumbled something to the effect that I was okay, to avoid any and all conversation. After fleeing to another aisle I run into Mr. I Know This Store Like The Back of My Hand who also offered to assist me. Thank God, I  was standing in front of what I needed. I thanked Mr. I KTSLT bOMH and quickly picked up my vitamins and left the store.

What I thought about was how many times this has happened to me. So I am assuming it has happened to women all the time. The same women who constantly say they cannot find men. When you are NOT trying to attract men with your appearance is when you will attract them. You are more approachable and real when your focus is not on finding a man. What happens when are not trying to be attractive? Someone finds you attractive.

This technique has to be spontaneous. You cant run out of toilet paper and toothpaste daily. When you run out of your necessity and run to the store at the last minute and Mr. I can help you attempts to help, don’t go into self conscious mode and try to hide, engage this man in conversation (unless you have run out of toothpaste). You may just meet your future partner while already looking like the day after.

Tell me what you think or if this technique helps you…..


Vacation, Sangria and the Tajirah Glass

When is the last time you went on vacation? I mean a real vacation where you felt a sense of freedom to behave in a way that you would normally not behave and do activities you would normally not do because you are always concerned about what others think of you. Being on vacation is the perfect time to enjoy your surroundings, be yourself and love who you are with.

Guess what? You don’t have to leave your house to take a vacation. This summer take a vacation in your own hometown, backyard or go to the beach and let loose as if you were far away on an island:


Enjoy a summertime refreshment such as:20140701_190428


2 oranges peeled and sliced

1 lemon peeled and sliced

1 lime peeled and sliced

1 pint of strawberries hulled and sliced

1/2 of pineapple cut into chunks

1 bottle of full bodied red wine

1 cup of apricot brandy

1/2 cup of triple sec

chilled  ginger ale

*grape juice

Add all fruit into a pitcher, pour in the brandy and triple sec  and muddle the fruit just a little to release some of the fruit essence. Pour bottle of wine over the fruit mixture and refrigerate over night.

 *For a non-alcoholic version, substitute grape juice for the wine and omit the brandy and triple sec.

The next day strain fruit and pour sangria in your favorite glass and top off with the chilled ginger ale.


Surviving the Big 5-0 Birthday

images (3)   Last year as I approached my 49th birthday, I thought I was going to be a year younger than I actually was. It wasn’t until a close friend corrected me by telling me that there was no way I was THAT much younger than she was. Damn! What did I do for a whole year? I had not prepared myself for what will come when I turned the big 5-0. My older sister said that I didn’t remember because 50 year olds forget things all the time. Hell I wasn’t 50 yet. As 49 sped by, I started planning what I would do as a Grown Azz, Mature, Soon-To-Be 50 Year Old  Woman. I decided for the entire year, I was just going to do whatever I wanted to do, rekindle old friendships,  travel wherever I want, drink heavily and eat everything. The results at 7 months into the year are this: imagesCAEXC8OM Do whatever I want to do – As long as it is over by 10pm and doesn’t turn up on social media. I will postpone running naked on the beach until I am 70. At that age, I don’t think I will really care. People will say, “awww, look at that confused old lady,  she forgot her bathing suit”.   imagesCASIGY05 Rekindle old friendships – Well…..not always a good idea. There is a reason why some people are not in your life anymore, leave it at that. imagesCATE5QDY Travel wherever I want – Lets just say, I don’t know how to travel frugally and I am spoiled with having certain amenities (toilets close by). Lets just say I am halfway through the year and my bank account is saying “WHOA!” imagesCANNJ9TN Drink heavily – When you substitute green juice for alcoholic beverages, you feel like a young’un (that’s what they call young people in the south). I can out drink anyone with some green juice. Eat everything – Who the hell am I kidding? I will have to postpone this one until I am 80 (God willing). When you reach a milestone birthday, people will say stuff like ” 30 is the new 50″. Whatever! My body does not look nor feel 30. People will say “wow, I didn’t know you were that old?” Your children will start asking you about the “olden days” (which would be the 80s) and even talk about how old they are getting. Recently, my daughter announced her 10 year high school reunion. This announcement amazed me and made me put on my big girl pants (not the Depends yet). Yes, I am really going to be 50 years old! As of July 7, I was officially “Over the Hill”. My 50 year birthday checklist has changed to simply thanking God everyday for all that I have received over my 50 years and will receive in the years to come. imagesCAU58248 However when I turn 70,  I may not be able to run naked, but I am still considering being naked at the beach and by 80, I will be eating anything my teeth will allow. After all, chewing will probably be my only physical exercise.  untitled (4) Much love,

Bahiyyah AKA Tahirah NKA Tajirah ( NKA -now known as)